Bristol? Honey?

I know you don’t want to be lectured. You’ve said as much. In fact, I’m sure if pregnancy didn’t show on a woman’s body, you wouldn’t have announced your second out-of-wedlock and unplanned one at all, because you don’t want anyone to judge you.

Please understand I am not judging your sex life here, nor would I ever do such a thing. Humans are built to like sex. It’s a completely natural, biological function and, if it didn’t feel good, we wouldn’t do it. It’s the way we propagate the species. Plus, when it’s done right, it feels A-MAZ-ING.

What’s not natural (because it’s 100% learned) is judging other adults on how we choose to live our sexual lives. It doesn’t matter how many partners a person has, what gender/orientation their partners are, or how they get their rocks off, because those decisions are between consenting adults and whatever deity (or deities) they believe have the final say in such matters.

But YOU, Bristol. YOU went out and preached abstinence. YOU told young people sex outside of marriage is always wrong. YOU insisted that your first child was a hard lesson and YOU would wait to have sex again until it was with a future husband. YOU spread this “just say no” nonsense to a new generation, most of whom won’t live up to the ideal and will spend years beating themselves up over it.

So congrats, you’ve created people just like YOU. And now you have two babies by two different daddies, both born without that ring on your finger, and you don’t want to hear any condemnation for it.

Well I’m here to say have all the sex you want, married or not, with your spouse or not (as long as you’re both cool with that). Rack up numbers that would have made Wilt Chamberlain blush. Mutual masturbation is fun. So is sex with women. Threesomes, foursomes, and orgies aren’t as scary as they sound, if everyone’s open-minded and willing.

Find and watch a glory hole sometime. Ass-fuck a guy with a strap-on dildo – the prostate is a fun button. Try prisoner/guard, secretary/boss, or priest/altar girl roleplay. Read up on BDSM and see if any of it turns you on enough to try it. Explore all of your body and the bodies others offer to you.

You’re a grown-ass woman who can make her own decisions about her sex life and anyone who judges you on any of it is an asshole. That said, the one thing – THE ONE THING – we sexually liberated and nonjudgmental folks WILL condemn you for?

Being a hypocrite.

Practice. Preach. Repeat.

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