Weird.

We stopped at the Whole Foods to pick up some snacks and Emergen-C, as we’d both awoken with that tell-tale throat itch which usually portends a cold or some other bug. It was flu season and we’d spent the weekend clubbing in and around Hollywood, so it was possible we’d managed to pick up something along the way.

We were on yet another “stealth mission” to SoCal, one of dozens we’ve taken over the years. That’s what we call it when we visit but have zero intention of notifying any of my family we’re nearby. Though most of them live in one of the country’s most vibrant, hopping, always-something-to-do region, hardly any of them take advantage of the dining, drinking, shopping, museums, concerts, and other activities offered just a few miles from their doorstep. So we take these “stealth missions” to fill ourselves with all El Lay has to offer without family obligations getting in the way.

We parked the rental car and my love headed for the supplement aisle while I headed for the restroom. We were in no hurry, really – we weren’t due at the airport to head for home for several hours yet – but we did want to get in and out ASAP. The Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s stores in and around Hollywood are always packed with people, no matter what day of the week or what time, and therefore are no place for two cranky misanthropes who just want to fly home and recuperate.

After using the bathroom, I washed my hands thoroughly because I’m conscientious like that. I was craving the fresh, wholesome goodness of the salad bar and if I was indeed getting a cold, I found no sense in spreading the wealth. I instantly got annoyed at the thought other people don’t do the same, because if they had I wouldn’t be feeling so poorly. Lost in this thought I approached the lettuce end of the bar, picked up a plastic container and …

… literally bumped into Al Yankovic.

You know, “Weird Al.”

Yeah, that guy.

Wrapped up in my own head, I wasn’t paying much attention to my surroundings. And it wasn’t a bump, really, more a shoulder tap. Still, I excused myself and apologized before I even realized exactly who it was I’d made contact with. Like I said, I’m conscientious like that.

He smiled a little, said, “No problem,” and returned to filling his own plastic container. I was too tired and irritable to strike up a conversation. I also was more-or-less raised in the area, so I know most celebs don’t wish to be bothered when they go out in public. (Conscientious. Me. Yes.)

On the way out of the store, my love asked, “Hey, was that Weird Al in there?”

Yes. Yes, it was.

I ate my salad in the passenger seat of the car, humming Eat It nearly all the way to LAX.

Have some more chicken, have some more pie …

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