The Boys of Summer Have Gone.
In the summer of 1983, I was madly, deeply in love with a boy who would leave for the Army soon.
I was also engaged to the man I would marry in less than a year’s time.
After that first divorce – which wasn’t long after but felt like a lifetime – during a night time drive around the beach cities of L.A., a song came on the radio. I sang it at the top of my lungs as I drove, suddenly understanding the poetry of it …
… the loss, the looking back, the wishing and “what ifs.”
I wasn’t even close.
In the summer of 1999, just after my third husband and I amicably separated our belongings and before I spent all my time and energy trying to ruin his life (hell hath no fury indeed), I took another of those long, night time drives. I was scrolling through the local radio stations when the very same song started from the beginning on one of them.
Alone in the darkness of a deserted pueblo road in nowhere, New Mexico, I again sang it at the top of my lungs. I felt the regret, the fight, the loss, the memories. I understood it better than ever.
I still wasn’t even close.
This morning, just for fun, I tuned in to a favorite 80s Internet radio station while I worked. I heard the tell-tale percussion and I knew – just knew – it was exactly what I needed to hear today.
But I didn’t sing it. I didn’t even hum the tune.
I stopped what I was doing and listened.
Nobody on the road
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
The summer’s out of reach
Empty lake, empty streets
The sun goes down alone
I’m driving by your house
No I know you’re not home
But I can see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your
Sunglasses on baby
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
I never will forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream
Remember how you made me crazy
Remember how I made you scream
I don’t understand
What happened to our love
But babe I’m gonna get you back
I’m gonna show you what I’m made of
I can see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun
I see you walking real slow
Smiling at everyone
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
Out on the road today
I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said
Don’t look back, you can never look back
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but
I can see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun
You got the top pulled down
Radio on baby
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
I can see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun
You got your hair slicked back and those
Wayfarers on baby
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
I understand it better than I ever have.
I’m still not even close.
What did I know?