Stupid Girl.

My memories remain filed safely away in grey matter storage until one day, out of the blue and sometimes like a tsunami, they rush out of my head and into the forefront of my consciousness.

My most recent experience with this made me woozy: It was an all-out barrage of high school crushes and boyfriends.

What started it? I was contemplating my love and what an absolute genius he is when it comes to engineering, business, machines, geek gadgets, and money. That is, he is truly a renaissance man … but he’s also a borderline autistic with his social life. Our relationship is symbiotic in that he keeps our tech, vehicles, and the business going, while I maintain the books and paychecks, our social calendar, and send him reminders of names, birthdays, and such.

So I thought back to all the men I’ve liked throughout my life, but specifically the boys in high school. Guess what? Geniuses. Some I never dated, but just hung out with; some I did date, but it didn’t work out. There was a nuclear genius, an artistic genius, a computer programming genius, a psych/human relations genius, a mechanical genius, a business genius, and a musician genius. (At least one of them wouldn’t see himself as a genius, but I think he is to this day. That’s one of the reasons I’ve stayed in touch with him for 25+ years and none of the others.)

All of my high school crushes, without a single exception, were geeks like me. We bonded over things like Thomas Dolby and Star Wars, the Apple IIE and the concept of “nothing” having to be “something” simply by virtue of having a name. We shared puns, complex theories of music, and mutual interest in different languages, paintings by the Dutch Masters, Dr. Demento’s weekly radio show, and the predictability of human behavior.

However, there was one big problem: I was a blonde teen girl growing up in Southern California. Guess what wasn’t expected of me? Smarts.

I so wanted to fit in that I developed a nasty habit of being a smart girl when I was alone with these boys, but acting like a stupid girl when we were in public. I even adopted a Valley girl accent for awhile, which I can still do, but really, it’s best not to ask.

Anyway, eventually each one of the genius teen boys got tired of two-faced me and wandered off, hopefully to bigger and better things. My memories, however embarrassing, remain and, if any of them make their way here, I offer my sincere apologies for my behavior.

I also hope that you found a woman who isn’t afraid to be intelligent and beautiful. They’re not as rare as you may think, but you may just have to leave Los Angeles to find one.

If I hadn’t, I may have adopted the stupid girl thing permanently.

Gnarly, dude.

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