Because This Is How My Life Is.

Without showering for the day, I made my afternoon run to the gym. Why bathe when it’s Tuesday and I have to spend an hour doing weightlifting? I’m only going to have to shower again when I get home.

I rarely am seen out in public in gym clothes, let alone do I make a stop on the 16th Street Mall while I’m downtown. Today, however, there were a few things I needed at Rite Aid. These items included some rather … personal products.

So there I am, headed for the cash registers with these items on top of everything else in my hand-carried basket, in my sweats and tennis shoes, zero makeup, hair up in a slightly destroyed semi-ponytail, and just generally looking like I’d been dragged through grease and sweat, when I see a person approaching me down the aisle from the opposite direction …

It’s Eddie Izzard.


Everyone’s favorite crossdresser – excuse me, executive transvestite – comedian is playing the Paramount Theatre tonight and tomorrow night, so it stands to reason he’d be poking around downtown this afternoon. We tried to get tickets when they went on sale, but they sold out really, really fast, which is strange for Denver. Gives you an idea just how popular the man is.

But why was it necessary for the universe to give me this fantastic opportunity to meet, in the flesh, one of my favorite celebrities in the world when I look like shit and I have a 36-pack of Trojans, a large bottle of Astroglide, and a box of Monistat prominently on display?

I simply told him I was a huge fan as I subtly moved the basket to the other side of my body. I didn’t say another word, I just kept walking, which really bugs me now. I’m usually a LOT more outgoing during fan girl encounters. *sigh*

By the way, he’s only about 3 inches taller than I am. And he looks fantastic even without makeup on.

Unfortunately, I do not.

2 Responses to “Because This Is How My Life Is.”

  1. Captain Jack Says:

    Astroglide? When the hell did THAT happen?

  2. Mandy Pants Says:

    I. Am. Supremely. Jealous.
    I can understand about feeling all icky about the less than superb state you were in while encountering this fantastic man, but OMGHOLYSHIT how do you end up meeting these people? I actually just made a voice recording yesterday of one of his ring tones (check out his site) so I could use it on my phone (I used #3) and well, I want to do him in the pants so bad.

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