Three situations arise from feeling as if you have nothing, absolutely nothing, left to lose in this world:

1. Extroverted anger – projection; could be as innocuous as harassing the one blamed for the predicament, but also sometimes results in violently bad decisions (murder, mass shootings); usually explosive and sudden.

2. Introverted anger – depression; may result mere self-sabotage of a job, relationship(s), etc., or self-harm such as cutting, but sometimes also results in a violently bad decision (murder-suicide or plain old suicide); can take years or decades to reach full effect.

3. Motivational anger – using rage to improve a life situation; justifications range from “Living well is the best revenge” to “I’ll show them – I’ll show everyone!” to “If I end up in jail or check out of this life, THEY win, and I will NOT let that happen;” closely associated with the ability to let go and move on; may take a moment, a month, or a lifetime to accomplish.

I don’t have to express which of the above is a better strategy. Turning pain, anger, and hate into something useful is always the best path, though it’s certainly not the easiest. Worse, the way is only made more difficult by the amount of personal accountability required. Only the strongest survive.

But trust me, there is nothing like looking into the eyes of a hater years after-the-fact. Nothing in the world.

Schadenfreude, FTW.

Your mommy’s waitin’ for ya.

Get back home, Loretta.

I did a post awhile ago on the best places to get educated on the Interwebz. There may be duplicates here, but I thought it important to post this list – from Tony Silva over on Google+ – as well.

Khan Academy

Sci Show

C. G. P. Grey

Minutephysics by Henry Reich

Physics Lectures- Dr. Physics A

1veritasium by Veritasium Films

Spacelab (Physics, Astronomy)

Sixtysymbols (Physics and Astronomy)

Physics Central APS (Physics, Astronomy)

Deep Astronomy (Astronomy)

SpaceRip (Space and Astronomy Videos)

AsapSCIENCE (General Science)

The Bad Astronomer

TED – three links
TED Talks Director
TEDx Talks
TED Education

Versus

Intelligence Squared

Big Think

crashcourse (Biology and World History)

numberphile (Math)

Wolfram (Math)

Vihart (Math)

FavScientist (Scientist Bios)

Periodic Table of Videos (Chemistry)

Inside Science Television

23 and Me (Biology)

DNA Learning Center (Biology)

biodigitalsystems (Biology)

The Human Body in 3D

MAGAZINES

National Geographic

Nature News & Comment

Nature Video Channel

New Scientist

Scientific American

Physics World

INSTITUTIONS

NASA (Astrophysics, Earth Observing, and Solar Science) – 5 links
Television
Explorer
Webb Telescope
Solar System
Spinoff

European Space Agency

DARPA

JAXA

European Southern Observatory

LABORATORIES

CERN (Particle Physics)

CMS Experiment (Particle Physics)

ATLAS Experiment (Particle Physics)

fermilab (Particle Physics)

IBM – 2 links
Labs
Research Almaden

Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory

Brookhaven National Laboratory

And just for good measure, there’s an aggregator called Skilled Up which is in beta at the moment, but looks to be a decent resource for finding lessons by topic. I did a search for Photoshop, clicked the free button, and got 60 courses.

Don’t just sit there and social network – go forth and learn! Create! Update your skillz! Explore! Get a (better) job!

Procrastinate tomorrow!

The entire article is located at this link, but I want to share and re-post each one here so I know exactly where to find these concepts in the future.

1) ” … human beings tend to be better at remembering evidence consistent with their beliefs.”

2) “Our brains can only hold so much information at once.” (Ever been so overwhelmed with what needs doing that you take a nap?)

3) “… too many choices … can be overwhelming, and we are paralyzed by indecision
… ”

4) ” … when you reach a higher level [in the social hierarchy], you are willing to put the success of the group or a higher cause above one’s own.”

5) ” … we are not special … ” and it’s this very insignificance which humbles us.

6) “We are attracted to ideas and concepts that are easy to accept or digest.”

7) “When information travels through multiple channels, it’s easy for some elements of the message to get distorted … ”

8) ” … cognition depends … on cycles within cycles of re-current, reflexive information-transformation processes … ”

9) ” … there is much more time before us than has already elapsed.”

10) “Understanding the need for double-blind experiments would help [us] understand [our] inherent subjective, everyday biases … ”

11) ” … determine what you can actually measure and decide, given the precision and accuracy of your measuring tools, and … find a theory appropriate to those measurable quantities.”

12) “As technology makes us more interconnected, there are more cross-overs between groups and populations … ”

13) “We all affect each other incidentally, especially in an interconnected world.”

14) “Failure liberates success.”

15) “We often don’t accurately assess the risk/benefit ratio; our irrational fears get in the way of real progress.”

16) It may be possible to ” … change what we believe to be instinctive.”

17) ” … factors like income and health are less indicative of overall happiness.”

18) There are ” … layers of understanding that exist between the external reality and our own perception of the world.” Further, “These systems of layers become more interconnected as we develop habits.”

19) “‘The whole is greater than the sum of its parts’ … is an appreciation not of the simple but of the complex.”

20) ” …the truth often lies in what is the single most reasonable, best explanation for the event.” (Occam’s Razor, anyone?)

21) “The greatest insights and inventions are the product of multiple people.” No man is an island.

22) ” … each person is not unique. Instead, mediocrity pervades.”

23) “‘Naming’ [labeling] keeps us from asking further, deeper questions about the nature of something.”

24) ” … our sensory experiences … have evolved to guide adaptive behavior, not report objective truths.”

25) When we accept ” … that many of our theories are ‘fundamentally provisional and quite possibly wrong,’ we can better listen to and empathize with others’ ideas.”

26) “In positive-sum games, ‘everyone wins.’” (compromise and altruism)

27) “Much of the world operates in powers of 10.”

28) “Our expectations — and if they are met or not — greatly influence how we perceive the world … ”

29) “Randomness is a fundamental limit to our intuition … ”

30) ” … we operate on both [conscious and unconscious] levels, and have an awareness of this connection … ”

31) “Scale analysis bridges the nonlinear and linear aspects of the world.”

32) ” … we perceive ourselves to be better than we are … [we] claim responsibility for success and blame others for failure.” (YUP.)

33) ” … what is ‘normal’ is constantly changing.”

34) ” … it is important for us to be skeptical about the world around us and not blindly accept what we believe to be ‘truths.’”

35) Breakthroughs aren’t all luck; rather ” … successful people regularly put themselves in positions … where they encounter luck.”

36) ” … we have multiple identities, or ‘subselves.’”

37) “‘There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch,’ [is] a universal truth having broad and deep explanatory power in science and daily life.”

38) Some of us have em>umwelt, a condition in which we ” … blindly accept the reality of the world around [them].”

39) “We place too great a weight on the possibility of rare, major events occurring to us … but not enough weight into the effects of lesser events.”

Some of these are a big duh, but there are some … well, let’s just say “Ouch” and leave it at that, shall we?

Ouch.

“Obama is destroying the economy.”

“Actually, both the stock market and corporate profits are at an all-time high.”

“Well, that hasn’t helped me any.”

“So you admit that trickle-down economics doesn’t work?”

Paraphrased by me and attributed to The Whiskey and the Morning After blog.

Monday

Take the man to the airport at 4 o’clock in the morning for a 6:00am flight. On arrival, we discover he’s forgotten his briefcase. Race home, grab it, and return with only 40 minutes to spare to reach his flight (he did).

Doctor that afternoon says I have a bit of a bacterial infection. Usual pharmacy is out of prescription medication has to order it for pickup the next day.

Tuesday

Pick up prescription and discover it’s a suppository. The directions also specifically state not to drink alcohol while using it, but I’ve got at least two plans for the week that don’t work with that idea. Call the doctor, who says the problem is so mild it can wait if necessary.

Head to the final of six laser hair removal appointments and am told by the technician that the little, wiry hairs that have suddenly come back with a vengeance the past two weeks will require a higher power on the machine or more appointments. I choose the former and walk around with a sunburn on my beard area for half the day.

Wednesday

Little, wiry hairs are back. I pluck them with extreme prejudice.

Ready in plenty of time for guests to arrive for a Stitch & Bitch crafting night. Very little stitching, a little bitching, and several bottles of wine later, one very drunk friend projectile vomits in the guest room. Across a pile of linens, pillows, a carpet, two bathrobes, and oh, so much more.

Six of us leap up to clean, mop, keep him company/safe, and start the washer. To his credit, we all would have been pissed off if it had been someone we didn’t like or who didn’t feel bad for doing it afterward, but after two loads and just about everyone had gone home, I was still left with another three loads of laundry.

Thursday

Pre-planned (as in before crafting night shenanigans) dinner with the friend who was so drunk/sick the night before. As expected, he is very repentant and embarrassed by the whole thing and offers to help me do laundry and/or shampoo the rug. I tell him not to worry, because I am headed up to the mountains the next day.

Friday

I am awakened at 6:30am to the sound of gurgling water. Think it’s the drain for the air conditioning … but then it doesn’t stop. I leap out of bed and encounter 1/2 inch of water on the hallway floor. The hot water heater has ruptured and I have no earthly idea what to do.

I access Yelp and call a well-reviewed plumber. Search the Interwebz for what to do. Find out how to turn off the water, check the gas main, etc. in less time than it takes to finish calling a professional. Throw dozens of towels on the hallway floor to mop up the initial mess and go to the garage for the shop vac.

Can’t find the shop vac. Find the motor, which is attached to a blower hose, but not the canister. Go back to the house to wait. Call my travel companion to let her know there may be an issue with our overnight vacation.

Realize all those towels will need washing when this is over. Come close to saying, “Fuck my life,” then remember saying it aloud is like asking the universe do to exactly that.

My love, with the best timing in the world, calls from his business in China. He’s having just as tough a week as I am and ensures me the water heater isn’t as important as my psyche. And he tells me where to find the shop vac canister.

I exhale.

Plumber wants $1,350 for a new hot water heater. I tell him I will think about it, then pack a bag to shower at the gym. Do three loads of towels on cold setting. Water heater problem derails other errands, but now I just want to get out of town to forget the stress for a little while, so I pack a bag and head over to pick up my friend.

Five miles from the Eisenhower Tunnel – about an hour outside Denver – we see a lighted sign that the tunnel is closed due to an accident. There is no place to exit without heading back home. Two miles out, traffic comes to a dead stop. The bed and breakfast at which I have a reservation specifically says they need a call if check-in will happen past 7:00pm, so we dial. It is 5:30pm and their voicemail says, and I quote, “If you are calling after 5:00pm, someone will return your call tomorrow.”

We redial every 30 minutes as we follow all diverted traffic over Loveland Pass, the old road that climbs above the timber line and back down in to the ski valley beyond. It is a beautiful drive, so I try let go of the fact we are going mostly uphill behind semis, U-Hauls, and hundreds of other cars. Only really relax when the B&B calls back to let us know how to check in/find our room key.

Once free of worry over the room, I have a couple of personal epiphanies. They are epic, as such truths usually are. Glad I am traveling with someone who gets it.

Stop in Dillon for a fabulous dinner. Things are looking up. Stop at the local liquor store for wine – one of the errands I didn’t get done due to the water heater – then continue on to Minturn, where we arrive around 9:30pm.

Our room is modern rustic, beautiful, has a jet tub, and the balcony overlooks the river. We drink some wine, watch some TV, and fall asleep to the white noise of gurgling water.

I catch the irony just before I doze off.

Saturday

Tossed and turned a bit and awoke at 6:30am. This is good timing, since breakfast is served between 7:30 and 9:30.

Breakfast turns out to be pancakes and sausage. I try not to eat too much pancake. Mostly succeed.

You may have already asked, “Why Minturn?” The annual Eagle County rummage sale, of course. Heard nothing but good things about it for years, but it’s kind of a bust. Lots of pretty clothes, nearly all too small for me and my companion. Seems those female mountain folk are perfect size 8′s. Still find a couple of bargains, then return to Minturn for a so-so lunch in a diner that can only be described as “The Quintessential Shrine to 50s Vintage.”

My mp3 player stops working, so no more road music other than one CD I’d burned and what we can find on the radio. I shrug it off.

Stop in Red Cliff for what the road signs say is an “art and studio tour.” Manage to actually see neither. Check the map and decide to take the pass road from there to Frisco rather than going the quick route.

One-half mile from the entrance of the pass road, it turns to dirt. We retreat.

Turn toward Leadville. Didn’t know just yet this is the best idea EVER.

Park and explore. Consignment store, thrift shop, gifts, jewelry, an antique mall, and a beer at a saloon that’s been there since 1879. Even get a position report on a friend who is running in the Leadville 100 this weekend and no ticket on my car, which was parked for 3-1/2 hours in a 2 hour parking zone.

Without noticing, I have completely forgotten the issues of the past week and am now just enjoying the moment. Finally.

On the way home, my tiny bladder cries out for release near Silver Plume, so I stop at the Starbucks. As I am walking back to the car, a Toyota 4-Runner pulls in, four people exit, and one of them is my second (ex-)husband.

Palpitations as I pass this relative stranger – we were married in 1989 and divorced in 1992 – and then it occurs to me, there is no way on Earth he would know me on sight. My companion agrees as we drive away. Still not sure it really was him. Memory is constructive and everyone has a doppelganger out there somewhere, right?

Right?

Drop my friend at home and call my love, who has spent 18 hours traveling and has missed his opportunity to have a hot shower at the gym (they close early on Saturdays). He is headed to Home Depot to price hot water heaters.

I stop for gas and realize one of my credit cards is missing. I call my friend and work out the last time I used it. I call the restaurant from the night before and they do indeed have it, but I can’t get back there until Monday. They agree to hold on to it for me.

Manage to time my arrival at home so I pull in to the driveway as my love, whom I haven’t seen in 6 days, pulls out to go to the hardware store.

I breathe. He’ll be home soon. I empty the car.

I leave a bag on the roof of the car for two hours. My love finds it when he gets home.

He takes a cold shower and comments that it’s not as cold as it would be if it were winter. We watch some TV. He is now snoring behind me on the couch and I smile at the sound, which I didn’t think I’d miss, but there it is.

It is now 11:00pm and after this post and a glass of wine, I will awaken him to come to bed with me. Tomorrow we get up early to find a new hot water heater, get to the gym for at least a shower if not a workout, attend the Colorado Distiller’s Festival, and see Dead Can Dance in concert.

Every day is a new one. Tomorrow is no exception. But I’m so glad the string of days that made up this week is over.

Reset!

Few people can muster up the courage to leave the safe, comfortable, and familiar, let alone move so far beyond it that no one from their past recognizes them anymore.

I am happy to say I personally know several people like this. A few are what I consider to be very close friends and the one thing they have in common (other than this blahg writer) is each has grown so much since I met them there is perhaps but a remnant of their former life left. Like me, they look back at their old selves and wonder, “Who the hell was THAT?”

I was reminded this week of how lucky I am to know them all when I spoke on the phone for hours with the one who’s been around the longest and had dinner with one who’s practically new to my life by comparison. There are many between and hopefully you know who you are by my words, because a lady never names names, especially in a public forum.

Of course you all still have your missteps and fears, heartaches and baggage, but your ability to look inside yourselves – to see what you really are, without delusion and with full accountability – makes me so incredibly happy for you I sometimes smile when your name or visage crosses my mind.

Tonight, I revel in the fact I’ve been able to be a part of each of your lives, from that high school French class to the late-night job to chatting at a club night to meeting via mutual friends online. Thank you for allowing me to watch your blossoming. Thank you for giving me room to bloom, too.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds for all of us.

Come with me.

Because it’s Beyonce and Jay-Z now, apparently.

So whoever is on top of the pop music charts is part of the ancient, worldwide conspiracy to rule the world. Uh-huh. But wait, Billy & Mandy and Spongebob are also involved. Evidently you can’t even parody the whole idea of the New World Order and secret societies without getting some people’s panties in a bunch.

*sigh*

Jay-Z said it himself in the video above: This is retarded.

Now tell me more about your mother.

Our family moved from Honolulu to the Los Angeles area in 1978. Air Force orders. Really, who leaves Hawaii voluntarily?

I have a ton of memories of my years in L.A. and a lot of pictures, but no movies. Until now: The folks on the Hidden L.A. Facebook page were kind enough to share this YouTube upload today.

I just spent the past 14 minutes nodding emphatically.

That is exactly what El Lay and the surrounding areas looked like in the late 1970s. The film itself may be a bit dirty, but I can almost guarantee there was no filter on that lens; the air really was THAT dirty. Like the equivalent of smoking two packs a day dirty. Like I still have lung problems dirty. Like “don’t go outside at all” warnings from the health department dirty. On the plus side, I got out of a lot of P.E. classes in school.

There’s quite a bit of G-d stuff in the film, which fits because the movement was HUGE in the area back then. I myself got ensnared in it by 1979 and was attending a mega-church in Hermosa Beach regularly by 1982 … but those are stories for another time.

Oh, and I believe that’s Waldo at 7:14, but it’s easy to disappear among the crowds in L.A.

Nobody walks there, though.

When chatting in the locker room about how you were just on vacation and need to get back to working out, don’t use explanations like “because I’m a fat pig.”

First, words are powerful. Saying you’re a fat pig aloud means, somewhere in your psyche, you believe it to be true. Don’t denigrate yourself; leave that to the haters of the world.

Second, there may be people around you who, upon hearing those words, look up to see your nearly perfect, rock hard, size 6 body and let out an involuntary “Pssshhhhh” while rolling my their eyes at you.

It may have come across as mean or insensitive, but it sure halted the conversation, didn’t it?

Win.