I spent most of the weekend on my back. That’s not as fun as is initially sounds, as most of it was either sleeping or watching TV. Then I got mad at myself for not having any motivation, which just perpetuated my bad mood, and the vicious circle completed itself nicely.

We had copious amounts of ham on Xmas evening. I also had nearly two hour’s worth of kitchen cleaning the next day, so there will be no more cooking in our kitchen without immediate clean up.

We had a lovely time at a house party, too, where no less than four people in attendance decided that kissing face with one of us was fun. And it was fun indeed, until we realized their respective partners - also at the party - had no idea what was going on and would have been quite mad if they walked in / found out. We ducked out and partied at home, where we can trust ourselves to be honest about what’s going on with other people.

I have not been calling, texting, e-mailing, or answering online messages. I’d apologize, but I did warn people I’d be out of touch most of the season. I know a few friends care, but that’s an intellectual thought in a time where I am more emotion than rationality. I choose to hermit each year rather than tell the people I care about “Please, fuck right off.”

That being said, repeated messages make me feel like no one was listening. So, I write this in the hopes you’ll understand and leave me alone for a bit. Really, it’s in your - our - best interests.

Lest you think I mean just you, there’s SIX of ya. So just stop it. Momma will be back soon. *smile*

Your continued patience is appreciated.

Do people who can spell attend political rallies anymore? (Examples of idiotic protest signs: Here, here, and here.)

Has anyone uncovered MENSA members who write 9/11 conspiracy theories?

Are there rocket scientists at Tea Party protests? How about brain surgeons?

Have you ever met a genius at a rave or a local burner party?

I swear “Idiocracy” is a documentary …

A friend of mine shared this Mahatma Gandhi quote today:

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

It’s easy to gossip about people. It’s easy to participate in activities which result in personal, monetary, or other suffering. It’s easy to hang on to anger and to dream of vengeance.

Taking the high road … now that’s a feat of strength.

Merry Festivus!

“If you lock it up … like this … [click] … it’s a sealed case and safe for kids.”

“I don’t have kids.”

“Well, your friend’s kids.”

“Oh, they’re not allowed in my house.”

“Your friends must be very understanding.”

“You have no idea.”

Another startled mundane, FTW.

Other drivers on the road who insist on remaining in my blind spot.

Paperwork, but especially tax paperwork.

Not being able to find my favorite mulled wine spice mix.

Blind-spot drivers who get mad when I change lanes.

Selling books back and getting less than 30% of what I originally paid.

Holiday shoppers. ALL of them.

Road ragers who roll down their window to yell.

Finishing up holiday cards too late for them to arrive before Xmas.

Furnace issues that require a professional and $200.

Having to say “I don’t care” to an angry driver by waving and smiling.

Wondering what kind of sorbet to get this year.

It’s 4:00pm, I am watching The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and cruising IMdB to catch up on Dame Maggie Smith’s career.

It’s true I don’t tolerate fools but then they don’t tolerate me, so I am spiky. Maybe that’s why I’m quite good at playing spiky elderly ladies. ~ Dame Maggie Smith

Days like this are one of the reasons I have a headful of garbage (aka a brain full of useless trivia). I really should get a team together for Geeks Who Drink; I have quite a few friends who would totally kick ass at it with me.

I woke up in time for brunch this morning - and had no less than two offers to fantastic places with great friends - but while the mind was willing, the body was very, very weak. Cavorting about with Sat … er … my love on a Saturday night tends to take all energy and motivation out of me. The good news is the reset button has been hit, so perhaps my mood will improve this week. I won’t bet on it, just the same, so I am not disappointed.

I’ve planned an outing to the Denver Art Museum for Wednesday afternoon, followed by happy hour at the Buckhorn Exchange bar. I’ve been craving a Buffalo Bill and Rocky Mountain oysters. Yes, the latter exist and yes, they are yummy … though I might have never tried them had I been born male. There is a certain empathy guy friends have exhibited each time I order this particular appetizer, but really, they are lovely in a horseradish dipping sauce. And I am willing to try just about anything to elevate my mood this time of year.

Including booking a trip to Greece in January.

If you don’t visit us here in Colorado by next year at this time, I am sending you airline coupons as gifts.

Seriously.

Merry and happy and all that rot.

A few selections of my favorite seasonal music (in an effort to lighten up from this crappy, hateful mood).

Who doesn’t like the Muppets?

Company holiday dinner planned? Check.
Corporate gifts ordered? Check.
Cards mailed? Check.
Family gifts ordered? Check.

Remaining:

* E-cards to format and send
* Picking up food and beverages for various holiday potlucks
* Various vain attempts not to stress out

Note to our lovely and wonderful friends: We don’t “do” Xmas. Please, no exchange of gifts unless you’ve bought already, and certainly nothing expensive. While I have a few gifts I’ve purchased for some close friends, I found them at sales or clearances while I was accomplishing the above tasks and I probably won’t give them out until after the holiday.

Remember: Expectation leads to disappointment.

I got all but one myself.