You are unique … just like everyone else.
I’m scared to be your friend. But you know that, because you’re scared too. This is because we both know people suck.
Pride is still my favorite sin.
No one is safe, you know that.
I fuck your ex on a regular basis, but it occurred to me during our most recent encounter that we both stopped talking about you a long time ago.
As old as I get, I always know this: I’ll never be as dead inside as you are.
I haven’t done anything for 10 years going, but six-and-counting is pretty damned good based on past history.
The first rule of Fight Club is … oh, nevermind. If I were you, I’d talk about it too.
Do you still beat your wife? That was an unfair question. You’re not married. Do you still beat your girlfriend?
I miss you, but I’m willing to wait until it’s really, truly, genuinely over. I’ve got time. You don’t, though.
Good to see you’ve gotten over it. Now tell a friend. You know who I mean.
Sometimes love means letting go. And yes, it’s supposed to taste like a shit sandwich. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t learn not to eat shit sandwiches.
Thundersnow is real.
Did you friend me because you like me or because you want to keep an eye on me? If it’s the latter, let’s have coffee.
I don’t believe in life after death, but I do believe in life BEFORE death.
Just … stop it.