It is only a test. If this were an actual emergency, I would have told you why I post the following.

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This concludes this test. Don’t ask questions and don’t call me, I’ll call you.

Organizing and running an all-volunteer organization - whatever size and for any purpose whatsoever - will slowly make a person insane.

(Credit and props go out to Rebel Girl for inspiring this one.)

The most requested drink recipe out of our kitchen follows. Our friend and former roommate, Nico, made this one up from things we had around the house one winter evening, hence the name. (Bless you, Nico!)

A Nick-Nog is like drinking a candy bar, but beware: This candy bar will kick your ass. Please drink responsibly!

NICK-NOG

Pour the vodka and chocolate liqueur over ice cubes into a highball glass; fill the remainder of the glass with the eggnog. Stir and serve. The Godiva chocolate liqueur may be replaced with Starbuck’s liqueur for that coffee-flavored kick.

Enjoy the season. Thanks to Nico, I certainly do.

We’re looking to head out for some skiing over the holiday, like a two- to three-day jaunt sometime between December 19th and 30th. If you’d like to join us in Denver and drive up (we have a four-wheel drive, 10-passenger van), contact me ASAP. I’m looking into lodging and such by this Friday (December 2).

It’s been nearly a full week, and I’m just now getting to write about the trip over Thanksgiving. I would say being with family is that draining, but it’s not. I like spending time with them, especially when there is amazing sushi involved. Of course, a few sake bombers never hurt anyone. Well, they didn’t hurt me, anyway. I’ve been imbibing at 5,000 feet for so long that drinking at sea level is not thrilling. Nor is it cheap.

A sake bomber, for those who have not had the pleasure, is a shot of hot sake added to a dry Japanese beer like Kirin or Asahi. It is one tasty drink, but beware: It will kick your ass.

One interesting note about Texas: All along the highways and byways of Dallas, there are stars. Stars with circles around them. Stars which suspiciously look …… pagan. The city is covered in symbolism of a spirituality I’ll bet 80-90% of them would never accept. I doubt the people of Texas are clear on that. I won’t tell them if you won’t.

Shopping … we did lots and lots of shopping, even though we did not get up and do the 5:00am bargain thing as we have in previous years. “It’s really early in the mornin’, it’s really cold, and I don’t want to fuckin’ go.” - Ron White

Foley’s had a 60% off on select jewelry sale with an extra 20% coupon if you bought on the Friday after Thanksgiving, so we did. Unfortunately, I can’t mention all the purchases here because some of you reading this will be on the receiving end of those gifts in about a month. *smile*

The Sam Moon conglomerate of stores moved to a brand-spanking-new area. It’s so huge, it should have it’s own zip code.

In their housewares store, we found gothic umbrellas: Each one is oversized, black, and the handles are long, phallic, and silver with a red crystal ball on the end. One lucky lady I know will be getting one in her … stocking … this year. *grin*

In their luggage store, I found a remote-controlled rat. You read that right, not an RC car, a rat. You know I had to have that one. There was only one left, but if I can find the manufacturer (or a store in Denver which has them) I’ll be adding more of them to the gift list.

In their accessories store, we stocked up on gifts for the holidays, and I got two photo handbags - that is bags with clear plastic areas in which to place your own pictures - to decorate later. I’ve already decided one of them will be filled with lowbrow and outsider art.

Speaking of which, Juxtapoz magazine is going monthly, starting in January. Anyone looking for the perfect gift for me this year need look no further than that.

My sister-in-love (her term, which is cute) got us a couple of art martini glasses which are adorable. Mine is Leopardtini (you can guess the pattern on it), his is Flirtini, and we can’t wait to mix in them. Meanwhile, mother-in-love hit the mark for the first time this year, I think, with a black dress shirt for him and a black cashmere sweater for me. I’ve never had a cashmere sweater before and now all I have to do is ensure it doesn’t accidentally end up in the laundry basket. (I love that he does the laundry, but my sweaters have taken a beating for it.)

The only thing I hated about the weekend was the overabundance of food. We ate, then we ate, then we ate more. For 5 solid days, food, food, food. The topper was Monday night’s dinner at The Green Room, where we ordered the Feed Me-Wine Me, which is a four-course meal paired with wine for each course. It was incredible and worth every gut-busting moment, but my body chemistry is all out of whack now. It’s going to be a few days before I get back to my moderation habits.

By the way, my entree was sea skate. Yes, I had stingray for dinner. It was like butter and I loooooved it.

In the “what goes on in [city name here] stays in [same city name here]” department, we spent time at Seven, Zubar, and The Church (Lizard Lounge on Sunday nights). As always, some will never be the same for the experience.

Ravyn: You’re not expecting me to call, but I will next time we’re in Dallas. You can count on that. You’re too cute and trainable not to play with at some point. *wink*

The older I get, the more of a dirty old man I become.

In 1995, while I was employed part-time and taking a full college load, I ran for Ms. New Mexico Leather for the first time. I had no idea what was involved in holding such a title or the whole contest system, but I jumped in with both feet.

When it was announced after the contest that all three female contestant’s scores were so close that all three of us were invited to run for International Ms. Leather, I nearly fell over. The local contest was in March; the International contest was in July. I had less than four months to come up with the cash to get to Chicago. Worse, in order to make an impression and seem serious about my running, I needed to get to Chicago in late May to attend International Mr. Leather prior to IMsL.

My income was at the lowest it had been in years. I had to get through finals in early May. I had a car payment and credit card debt and everything else associated with being in one’s late 20’s. I could not afford to take one trip to Chicago, let alone two, in less than four months.

I was completely unwilling to let that stop me. Those of you who know me well understand what I mean. I take after my mother in a lot of ways.

Not only did I manage to get to both contest weekends, but I continued traveling to such shows nationwide, at least one per month, for the next four years. Sometimes I flew, sometimes I drove, but I got there.

What I learned about myself in that period of my life is this:

If you want something bad enough, you find a way to do it.

I got to see just about every major US city on that tour. I met some exceptional people, went to some hellacious parties, and attended workshops presented by the greats of the BDSM scene, some of whom (like Tony DeBlase) are no longer with us. I made some lifelong friends along the way and, by late 1999, I was the one teaching classes and workshops.

I paid for it in cash, credit, or with sponsor money. I depended on the kindness of strangers, the well-wishes of friends, and produced and promoted fundraisers. My motto became “By any means necessary.” I gave up school, I worked TWO part-time jobs, started two side businesses, paid my bills, and managed to get there. In 1995, I came in 6th out of 11 contestants. In 1997, after all that travel and meeting people and getting known in the larger community, I came in second runner-up among 14 …… the first time a hetero-married-bisexual-high-femme had placed that high at a contest which was, at the time, a mostly lesbian event.

My point is this: Don’t lie to yourself about not being able to do something you really want to do. Simply consider the idea that it’s not that important to you to do it. Don’t be ashamed of it, don’t think you’re disappointing anyone, and don’t lash out and disparage the attitudes of those who have a different view of the situation.

So you have a different outlook on your own life. Everyone has their own priorities and you have decided what yours are. So be it and let it go.

However, lack of cash is hardly the problem. Lack of perserverance, an aversion to hard work, and an unwillingness to give up other expenses for awhile - like eating out, clubbing, or going out for drinks with friends - is.

Now, read This I Believe - Part VII again and know that what I say is not intended to be harsh, rude, or instill any guilt. I have a different outlook on my own life. Everyone has their own priorities and I have decided what mine are.

So be it and let it go.

You can only take a guilt trip if you purchase the ticket yourself.

Hooray for people who evolve!

Someone asked recently if goth is going too mainstream, what with pop bands taking on the look and shows like South Park and comic books like The Archies taking aim at the subculture.

My view of the mainstreaming of a subculture stretches back nearly 20 years, most of it spent in New Mexico. I evolved into goth from the BDSM subculture of the late 80’s through mid-90’s. I didn’t leave the former because it became mainstream - which it did certainly around that time - I left because it became predictable and *boring*. There are only so many kung fu movies you can watch. [Nicole Blackman]

I knew I already looked like a duck (leather, latex, and corsets) and quacked like a duck (I grew up on L.A.’s KROQ radio in the 80’s, so my musical background is old school punk/goth) so it was natural to swtich from BDSM play parties and conventions to goth clubbing and events.

So far, goth has not become predictable and boring, at least not for me. However, I have watched as the faces around me and in the crowd completely change, more than a few times in the last 5 years. (If I had a nickel for each time I heard, “You’re the only familiar face in here!” I’d have a few dollars.)

Here is the reason I don’t particularly worry about mainstreaming:

Most of the people involved in any given subculture are tourists. They come, they see, they leave. Even if their stay is for a few years, they still wander off one day.

The vast majority of the people I knew in the scene in the 90’s can’t believe I am still involved. I am watching now as those whom I’ve known for the last 5 years or so are moving on to marry, have babies, and settle down with their corporate jobs, white picket fences, and minivans.

Yet I remain. I like it here but, more than that, my darkness is a part of me. Tourists eventually decide it’s not them, that they don’t need it. I don’t have that choice. This is me.

The ebb and flow of the tourists is not limited to goth; it happens in each and every subculture. And each and every subculture starts questioning itself about going mainstream - “Have we sold out? Do we want to?” - eventually.

The Good News: The mainstreaming of a subculture causes a growth spurt for that subculture. Goth will never be 100% mainstream, but it will attract (has attracted) more mundanes, more tourists in the past few years. From a business standpoint, this is fantastic because more bodies = more money. Goth clubs and websites, Hot Topic, and events like the Dark Arts Festival (Salt Lake City or Denver) have an opportunity to grow, expand, and enjoy an influx of new converts and cash.

The Bad News: Producers and promoters of goth clubs and events find themselves in a quandry about how to keep those who have been here for a long time (me) with the needs and desires of the new folks (the mundanes, the tourists, the newbies). You can’t please everyone all the time, but how do you keep the majority happy? It’s not easy and, in the process, some clubs and events may fail. Those who survive will remain for those of us who also remain.

I am sometimes bugged by the tourists, but I am a misanthrope, so that’s to be expected. When they are gone and the crowds die down (as they eventually and always do), some of us will still be here, sipping our absinthe and being just as catty and pretentious as ever.

Don’t take that to mean I’ll still look like I do now. The clothing, the makeup, the goth look is not what defines me. My opinions, my personality, the way I see the world is what defines me as goth - for the moment. The name of the subculture may change or I may opt out of all of it entirely, but I will still be taking my regular journeys into the darkness.

Tourists never follow down that path, nor will they ever. After all, some people really are afraid of the dark.

Snopes did the research and yes, indeedy the following was printed in Mass Transportation magazine in 1943. And don’t kid yourself: There are plenty of people out there who still believe some (or all) of it to be true.

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

11. Get enough size variety in operator uniforms that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too strongly as a means of keeping women happy, according to western properties.